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The other day on Threads, I caught a post by @alchemistress_ about setting up her first studio. The final line of the post:  “I’m sitting in the art room I wanted as a kid, surrounded by dreams.” 

Well if that didn’t touch a nerve! Of course I liked and commented on the post right away, but the sentiment has stayed with me since.

Surrounded by dreams. It made me think of my own journey to becoming an artist, which I got to recount a couple years ago in an essay that appeared in the premier issue of Living Crue magazine. 

The pencil tin has a vintage, almost other-worldly feel. Of course, the pencils and their case are other-worldly. They are artist-grade Derwent watercolor pencils, imported from England. I am 14, the youngest child of a low income family on Cape Cod. Money is tight in our house. There are few to no circumstances that justify the expense for nice and indulgent things like these pencils, and I know this. I stare at them endlessly, lost somewhere between the luxury and improbability of owning them.

I recently bought a new set of Derwent pencils. These are pastel pencils, to compliment the Caran d’Ache and Generals pastel pencils I already use. They round out my tool kit of pastels, so that I can render a full range of marks from bold and loose to soft and layered and finer detailed lines that offer eye-catching definition. I keep these pastels in a studio dedicated to a creative practice that’s produced award-winning artworks and earned me membership to nationally-renowned fine art organizations.

I’ve come a long way from that teenage summer, but the memory of not even daring to dream is never far from the surface. I’m no longer a 14-year-old who’s too scared to dream, who knows she can’t afford the missteps that come with dreaming. Now? I’m surrounded by this dream, living it. Nevermind that it’s one I only felt comfortable dreaming well into adulthood. 

Back in September I got the chance to consider all that’s brought to this point in my life. It sparked an intense wave of gratitude, and this recent realization that I’m surrounded by dreams brought me back to that gratitude. May it color my work in all the same ways my pastels do, in boldness and softness, in layers and details. Amen.

We’re a full two weeks into the new year and I’m still pondering the goals and resolutions I’ve set for myself. After going easy in the years since Covid, I realized that I need a push, a more  deliberate effort to advance my creative development and the work I create.

And that there is the first step: Create. More. Art. Do the thing! I need to prioritize studio time and getting to the easel. Can’t promote my artwork if I don’t make any!

This leads me to my next resolution: Set Some Goals. Say them out loud and give them voice. Manifest my success. To that end, I’m aiming for 10 commissions this year. If you’re reading, consider how you could enjoy a commissioned work: a portrait of someone special, of your home or a beloved getaway. I’m also going to make more seashell mosaics. They’re great little pieces that I put together when I need a break from painting and they’re wild popular. So yes, more of those!

How do I know they’re popular? That’s what sells at the local arts event I’ve attended a few times. So that’s my next nudge: do more events! There’s a great local artists association that holds a fantastic open studios event in my studio building and I’ve never participated. Not anymore! Again, DO THE THING.

I had a decent year last year. I redesigned my website and branding materials. I showed — and sold — work at some fantastic events. My portrait ‘Snuggled In’ was featured in an NPR roundup of pet artwork and later took 2nd Place at the Salmagundi Club’s Animals: Domestic & Working exhibit. I joined Threads and am growing a nice following.

Oddly enough, I didn’t feel great about the year as it was passing by. I wasn’t in my studio enough towards the end of the year and it put me in a funk. My confidence took a hit and my headspace was not good. In the spirit of preventing that nonsense from recurring, one final important thing I’ll work on this year is shedding some of the fear that too often holds me back. I avoid the follow through and just end up feeling bad about myself. It makes no sense! I don’t want to be afraid of success anymore.

I think that about sums up the annual peek inside my head. Hopefully I’ll get to revisit these goals and resolutions as the year goes on, to keep myself on track and mindful of what I wanted for myself (and what I thought I needed) when the year began. Until then, to the studio!